My Melancholy
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Below are the 10 most recent journal entries recorded in the "openheartxoo" journal:[<< Previous 10 entries]
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02:57 pm
[Link] | So, I finished graduate school and have a full-time job and still want something else. I feel all of the existential angst that has been hidden over the past few years is resurfacing.
I've spent 19 years in school for this moment and now want to follow other pursuits. LOL.
Ever since I was a kid I wanted to spend my life doing art and music,
but my workingclass background prevented me from realizing that it actually was a feasible option.
Though my mom encouraged my artistic pursuits, she always said I should get a degree in something practical, and do art on the side...and I've basically done that...
Lately random people have heard me sing or seen my old paintings and asked why I don't become a serious artist/musician..
I think in all honesty, it was never expressed as a real option from my family (on my mom's side) and going through school and getting a degree is a lot simpler than dedicating your entire life to an artistic craft and making it on your own.
My dad's side of the family was a bit more encouraging, with the addition of my dad's caveat that I have to become a rockstar by the time I'm 22. Ooopps.
Also, with this new job, I'm trying not to become a walking 9-5 stereotype, coming home exhausted to the tv/internets and spending all of my money on stupid things that I don't need.
New clothes...an IPod touch...but I've never had an Ipod! But I probably don't need one, either.
Being mindful of my life choices and true needs (as well as understanding my desires) is a full-time job in itself.
Also, I remember I was so much more creative (and fulfilled in some ways) before we had the internet...
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02:30 am
[Link] | 20-30 page midterm--Organizational Theory--11/11
20-30 page rough draft--Community Development--11/12
Receive 230 8-page term papers to grade for polisci 1010--11/13
Assigned 10 page problem paper--Policy formation/implementation--11/10 or 11/17
Present research--community dev.--first week of December
Final paper (30 pages)--com dev.--2nd week of December
20-30 page final paper due--Org. Theory--Third week of December
Take home final (who knows the length..)--Policy Form/Imp--third week of Dec.
Final in Org Theory--Dec.
Plus, I have no confidence this semester. And, obviously, no life.
Lalala. gradschool.
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10:56 am
[Link] |
?
Life is beautiful.
I'm in love.
The end.
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07:36 pm
[Link] | www.myspace.com/theuniversewillgetyouback
add us!
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03:36 am
[Link] | Beauty is unbearable, drives us to despair, offering us for a minute the glimpse of an eternity that we should like to stretch out over the whole of time.
Current Music: Jack Bruce
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05:59 pm
[Link] |
i think god is moving
Our show was quite awesome.
Playing music makes me so happy.
Collaborating with a sweet drummer and awesome cellist is ideal.
I don't think it could get much better.
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03:31 pm
[Link] | 
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03:01 pm
[Link] |
I must love what I destroy, and destroy the thing I love
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12:13 pm
[Link] |
I hope the Russians love their children too
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Northwoods
-Operation Northwoods, which had the written approval of the Chairman and every member of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, called for innocent people to be shot on American streets; for boats carrying refugees fleeing Cuba to be sunk on the high seas; for a wave of violent terrorism to be launched in Washington, D.C., Miami, and elsewhere. People would be framed for bombings they did not commit; planes would be hijacked. Using phony evidence, all of it would be blamed on Castro, thus giving Lemnitzer and his cabal the excuse, as well as the public and international backing, they needed to launch their war-
I LOVE the US government
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02:12 am
[Link] | We are over-cute. We never will manage to be rude, only twice.
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